The most irritating things that men say they hear from their spouses are listed below by couple therapists.
1. “I’ll just do it myself,” you said.
Marriage advice: Give your partner a chance to fix the sink when you ask him or her to call the plumber. Although you might get your sink fixed faster by rolling your eyes and stating, “Never mind, I’ll do it myself,” your husband is likely to take offense.
2. “You ought to be aware.”
Expecting your husband to understand every gesture and word you make is a recipe for disappointment.
Men are famously bad mind readers, he said, so women get irritated when their spouses can’t read their minds or read between the lines. If wives can come to terms with this and just ask for what they want, they will spare themselves a lot of pain.
3. “Do you find her attractive?”
Do you truly want to know what your husband thinks of a lovely woman? Most likely not, plus you’re placing your husband in a difficult, lose-lose scenario.
If he’s attempting to respect you, he should already be trying to avoid looking at the attractive ladies in the room; pointing her out will simply make him feel more awkward and confused of what to do to avoid upsetting you.
4. “We must speak.”
We need to discuss is one of the four words that a married man fears the most. The following time you bring up a problem, choose a less sinister sounding phrase.
We need to communicate is frequently a hint that the wife is upset with or critical of the spouse, she explained. “He withdraws, thinking that he has failed you in some way, which is the exact opposite of what you were attempting to do.
5. “Man up.”
Seriously? Being a guy can be done in any way—right or wrong. For the sake of your husband, try to have a courteous discourse and set aside your gender assumptions.
Howes noted that telling your husband to “man up” is a cruel attack on who he is at his core. It’s a comment that’s full with disdain and humiliation and could cause relational damage that won’t be easy to repair.
6. “Clean up your own messes. Your mother is not me
Instead of telling your spouse that you’re sick of feeling like his mom, there are other methods to persuade him to put his dirty socks in the hamper.
It adds baggage to what is probably already a difficult circumstance to bring up mum, Smith added. The suggestion that he still needs or wants his mother is not a good method to get him to stop acting in a way you don’t like because many men are sensitive about their relationship with their mother.
7. “You never, should have, or should have…”
Sorry, but berating your partner for not doing the dishes, taking out the garbage, or picking up the kids from school is not likely to result in behavior change.
It’s like setting one of his flaws in stone when you say someone “never” does something since it removes all potential for growth, she added. Saying something like, “I’d love it if you could unload the dishwasher tonight,” is far preferable. And when he does, thank him and anticipate such assistance in the future.
8.You’re going out with the boys once more, right?
Don’t see your marriage as being threatened by fantasy football gatherings and golf outings. Actually, the reverse is true; some time apart will probably be beneficial to your relationship.
Yes, there are instances when a guy’s night is merely an excuse to get wasted and fart, but for many guys, these occasions are critical for connecting, getting support, seeking guidance, and expressing significant feelings, he added. “Wives may be cutting off a crucial support system if they feel threatened by this or prevent their husband from attending.