Things That May Happen When You Try to Rush a Relationship

1. You can push the person away

Forget making the relationship unhealthy. If you try to rush the relationship, there’s a good chance they’ll just pick up and scram. Being rushed into love feels unnatural because it is unnatural. Intuitively we know that a relationship needs to move at its own pace. So, when someone is actively trying to push us into situations we just don’t feel comfortable with, we begin to be turned off by the person themselves and feel they only have their own desires in mind and aren’t thinking about us at all.

2. You become less attractive

Trying too hard is rarely attractive and that remains so even once you get together. By trying to push theb relationship along some of that solid gold paint you’re covered in, during a time when you both should simply be enjoying falling for one another, starts to chip away and the person begins to see you as a different person: desperate, needy, and selfish.

3. You Don’t Really Know Them Yet

If you’re racing into something after a very short acquaintance, chances are that you’re going to be bemused a few months down the line. Sure, everyone knows (or knows of) someone who married their partner within a very short timescale from meeting them, and then stayed together until death they did part. However, those people were probably lucky enough to have (by sheer fluke) found someone with whom they got on famously even after the love-chemicals wore off. What do we mean? Well, on one level, it stands to reason that you know people better the more time you spend with them.

4. You create an unhealthy relationship pattern

If you’re trying to rush into a relationship with one person, as we just talked about, it’s not because of the relationship — it’s because of what’s going on inside of you. For that reason, if you don’t attack the behavior from the root, you’re likely to fall victim to it yet again when your next crush comes around. Each time you do this, you ruin the chance at something special with the person, whether there was something special there to begin with or not.

5. It’s A Sign Of Insecurity

Look deep inside yourself. Take a deep breath, face up to your innermost self, and ask yourself why, precisely, you want to move this relationship forward. Is it because you honestly believe that the time is right for both of you? Or is it because you want to ‘lock them down’ out of fear that you might lose them? Rushing relationships is a classic sign of insecurity, typical of people with rejection issues or troubled pasts. If both of you honestly and rationally believe that moving forward is the best move, then you may well be right. But if you’re trying to ‘secure’ the relationship out of fear, jealousy, or rejection-anxiety, things are likely to go badly wrong.

6. Misplaced Hunger for Love can Hurt You

The picture of relationships we see on television or in the movies doesn’t allow us to see the time and commitment it takes to build a solid foundation. After a 22 minute episode or a 90-minute movie we are left thinking the most romantic relationships happen very quickly, are extremely intense and will last forever. The fact is that strong relationships develop slowly over time with much hard work and commitment.

7. It may be Lust rather than love

The two can feel very similar in the early stages, resulting in a single minded obsession with the object of your desire. The main difference between them is that lust is often fleeting and can move from one person to another very quickly. It is like a bright firework that soon burns out. One way to find out if it’s lust is to ask yourself are you really interested in getting to know the other person or are you more concerned with easing your loneliness and sating you desires.

8. You may be swept along

If a match seems completely besotted with you from the outset it’s very flattering. We all want to hear that we’re wonderful and bring happiness and joy to another person’s life. The romantic dream of love at first sight is enticing, but in reality if you’ve only been seeing someone for a few weeks the chances are that they don’t know ‘you’ well enough to know that they ‘love’ you.

9. You may end up giving too much too soon

If there’s always biscuits in the biscuit tin most people will eventually go off biscuits. The same is true with relationships that go straight into daily contact and 24/7 availability. Hold something back and leave your date wanting more of you rather than less. Avoid spending whole weekends together, jumping into bed too quickly or being constantly online 24/7.

10. Rushing into a relationship can feel like a fairy tale at first, but it can go downhill very quickly.

Think about how many times you or a friend dated someone and it was great until the 3-6 month mark. ??When you haven’t had to go through things together, had disagreements, or even shared your true feelings, things can seem easy. But rushing into a relationship based on a purely good times is naive and likely disastrous. I’ve seen couples rush into a relationship because it seemed right at first only to fall into a comfortable routine and even get engaged before realizing they didn’t want the same things.

11. You can’t be sure how long it will last.

Committing quickly could lead to an even quicker breakup. It’s impossible to be completely secure in a relationship that sparked quickly. Those same factors could also make the decision to end things easier.

12. You barely know your partner

Learning a person takes time and if you jump into a committed relationship with someone you just met means that you have a lot of ground to make up when it comes to getting to know one another.

13. Your partner May try to control you.

Everyone prefers their own comfortable pace of development when it comes to the relationships. Remember that if something seems too good to be true, then, probably, your intuition serves you well. Also, you should pay attention to whether a new partner tries to control you and to check where and with whom you are spending your free time. This is a red flag for the future healthy relationship.

14. It sets a low standard.

When you’re accelerating the process of actual dates to Netflix and chill at a rapid speed, it sends the message that it requires little to no effort to be with you. We live in a modern dating culture that longs for certain old school courtship traditions that have zero chance of resurfacing with this hurried momentum. You’re a prize, right? So Netflix and chill with yourself in between proper dates for the first few weeks, at least.

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