It’s common knowledge that men mature later than women – 11 years later, according to research.
So many women in the dating world feel like finding a truly mature man is trickier than finding a needle in a haystack.
While researchers pinpoint 43 as the average age at which men reach full emotional maturity, this can differ immensely.
So, if age is not a solid indicator of a man’s maturity, what is?
According to psychology, there are several signs that a man is genuinely mature.
So whether you want to know what to look for in a man or you’re trying to determine if your new partner is secretly immature, read on!
1) He regulates his emotions
One of the most prominent signs of an immature man is an inability to control his anger.
Immature men react impulsively to stressors and are unable to hold back their frustration.
This is because instead of accepting their feelings, immature men suppress them or try to ignore them.
However, as studies have found, emotional suppression only temporarily decreases outward expressions of emotion. The inner feeling is still present, so sooner or later, it comes up, often when something happens that frustrates the person.
On the other hand…
A mature man doesn’t let his feelings dictate his actions.
This is because he can:
- Identify his emotions
- Understand their underlying causes
- Respond to them in a balanced manner.
Psychologists emphasize the importance of emotional regulation in maintaining healthy relationships and making sound decisions.
That is why he doesn’t ponder things for ages but instead makes a quick decision and moves on…
2) He makes swift decisions
Kids are known for being indecisive because making sound decisions requires:
- Emotional intelligence
- Experience
- Critical thinking
- A long-term perspective
Therefore, if a man can make decisions confidently and promptly when necessary, it shows he is mature.
He demonstrates this by:
- Considering the available information
- Weighing the pros and cons thoughtfully
- Taking decisive action and avoiding procrastination
This ability to make choices efficiently demonstrates self-assurance and assertiveness.
Here’s another sign of maturity in a man linked to these two traits…
3) He doesn’t show off in front of others
John Mano Raj, a professor at the Indian Institute Of Plantation Management, examined the link between maturity and confidence by collecting and analyzing data from 349 university students.
He found that students who ranked high in emotional maturity showed high levels of self-confidence.
In contrast, emotionally immature students showed low levels of self-confidence.
Therefore, mature men don’t try to show off and impress others. They don’t need to flaunt their achievements or seek peer validation.
As a mature man can validate himself, he acts the same when alone as he does around others.
He doesn’t put on any persona or facade in public to appear more successful, worthy, or likable. Instead, he remains humble, grounded, and respectful.
His secure self-esteem also means he can admit when he is wrong…
4) He takes accountability for his mistakes
Think about the most immature people in your life. One thing they likely all have in common is an inability to accept responsibility.
When they mess up, they deny it and blame someone or something else. Even if evidence against them mounts, they will still try to talk themselves out of it.
But not mature men…
A mature man doesn’t deflect blame or make excuses when he errs. Instead, he owns up to his mistakes, learns from them, and strives to improve.
This accountability reflects integrity and earns respect from others.
Moreover, taking responsibility for things allows a person to grow. And personal growth is something mature men prioritize….
5) He is always looking to become a better man
Perhaps the most telling sign of maturity is the commitment to personal growth and self-improvement.
A mature man is introspective and self-aware, constantly reflecting on his thoughts, behaviors, and experiences.
He actively seeks opportunities for learning and development, whether through:
- Seeking feedback
- Acquiring new skills
- Challenging his own beliefs and assumptions
His devotion to becoming the best version of himself means he cultivates emotional intelligence, social skills, and intellectual growth, which directly increases his maturity.
Personal development also allows you to open your mind to new perspectives and ideas.
You can consider different viewpoints, which fosters respect for all other humans, including those who think or act differently from yourself.
All the self-work a mature man does means he can do the following…
6) He follows through with things
Reliability is a key trait of maturity.
A mature man honors his commitments and follows through with his promises.
He demonstrates consistency and integrity in his actions by:
- Honoring agreements and promises in relationships
- Completing work tasks that he agreed to
- Not giving up on goals after experiencing setbacks and failures
One reason mature men appear more reliable than immature men is that they have the tools to overcome challenges and adversities.
Mature men understand that challenges are a part of life. So, they choose to view them as opportunities for growth and learning.
This differs significantly from immature men, who see challenges and rejections as personal attacks.
As reliability fosters trust and strengthens bonds with others, mature men typically have more successful romantic relationships.
Women with mature and reliable men will notice and appreciate the following sign…
7) He offers stability and consistency
Mature men radiate an air of calm and stability. They are a steady presence in their own lives and the lives of those around them.
This is because mature men can remain composed during challenging times, maintaining a sense of equilibrium during change and uncertainty.
Of course, this stability also creates a sense of security and reassurance in relationships.
Unlike immature men who are volatile, a mature man doesn’t start pointless arguments or play mind games.
If conflicts arise in the relationship, you will notice the following sign…
8) He actively seeks to resolve conflicts
Because mature men value personal growth and approach problems with a positive can-do attitude, they are naturally good at defusing and resolving conflict.
While immature men will give you the silent treatment or try to manipulate you to get their own way, a mature man will sit down with you and talk it out.
Moreover, according to mindset resilience coach Kat OM, maturity is not about walking away from or avoiding conflict at all costs.
When you’re dating a mature man, he won’t shy away from conflict or say what you want to hear to keep the peace.
Instead, he will confront it head-on with a willingness to listen, understand, and find common ground.
He approaches disagreements with empathy and diplomacy, seeking mutually beneficial solutions rather than escalating tensions.
Therefore, most conflicts with a mature man end by compromising…
9) He is happy to compromise
Flexibility and compromise are essential components of mature behavior.
As professors Barry Hoffmaster and Cliff Hooker wrote in their paper ‘The Nature of Moral Compromise‘…
“The ability to properly negotiate difficult circumstances develops moral and emotional maturity.”
Therefore, what sets a mature man apart from immature males is that he understands compromise doesn’t equate to weakness.
Instead, a mature man knows that choosing to compromise shows adaptability and consideration for others’ needs.
So, a mature man will never try to guilt-trip you or get his own way for the sake of his ego.
Instead, he will negotiate until you both find a middle ground, prioritizing harmony and cooperation in your relationship.
He can do this because he can freely and openly talk about his feelings…
10) He is not afraid to open up
Contrary to the societal stereotype of masculinity, maturity equals vulnerability.
It is not the weak men who show their emotions but the mature ones.
Mature men understand something that most emotionally immature people don’t – opening up about your thoughts and feelings is not a sign of weakness but strength.
Mature men not only identify and accept their emotions, but they are also willing to communicate them to their loved ones through open and honest discussions.
Research has found that mature men can foster deeper connections and more emotional intimacy in relationships by being able to express themselves honestly.
Final thoughts
Although men are naturally more immature than us women, there are plenty of mature men out there – trust me, I found one!
While sifting the many ‘boys’ out of the dating pool may seem overwhelming, it is worth the effort.
Dating a mature man after a string of immature guys feels like winning the lottery.
You will no longer have to deal with someone sulking when he doesn’t get his way or stonewalling you when you’ve unknowingly done something to upset him.